UNDER 16S
A not so serious analysis of our under 16s squad:Goalkeepers:
Tyler Caine:
Was a cat in a past life.
Sean Bishop:
Reserve goalkeeper. An Academy product. Lucrative contract.
Defenders:
Sam Hunt
A versatile defender with a deceptive change of pace from medium to medium fast.
Harry Player
So good he can play the game at walking pace, and often does.
Ben Green
Has a tattoo with "Thou shalt not pass" on.
Danny Macdonald
Bullet quick and a big hit with the Rangers groupies.
Kyle Collenette
So fast we've had to extend the pitch.
Midfield
Adam Wakeford
Is hoping to sign a huge endorsement deal with Nike, Puma or Creaseys Menswear.
Jordan James
The destroyer. So hard the referees are scared to book him.
Tom Hutchinson "Hutch"
Lungs of an Alaskan husky, feet of a ballerina.
Merlin Veron
Often mistaken for a young George Best (with less drink and fewer girls). Has the balance of a mountain goat. Magnificent in full flight.
Myles Bougourd
Has been likened to Zidane but not known to head butt people.
Attackers
Blake Batiste
The world's best strike partnership would be anyone and Blake.
Andy Clarke
Think Drogba but without the fame or salary.
Paul Wall
A left foot to die for, a right foot to stand on.
Sam Downes
Being lined up as Messi's replacement at Camp Nou.
Sam Lesley
Being lined up as Sam Downes's replacement when he replaces Messi.
So good they can play anywhere and frequently do:
Connor Batiste
The Total footballer. Can do everything. Must be Dutch.
Nathan Collenette
Younger brother of Kyle. Possibly even quicker.
Alex Robin
Great engine. Born poacher.
Alex Penney
Enjoys rugby.
